But delivering balanced news, popular sitcoms and must-see dramas should be their immediate priority. TV quiz. Who said, “Shall I load and you push?” Was it a) Sarah Millican to her Rolling In It partner or b) Billie to Brad on Sex/Life?

Bushell Garry Bushell

Baptiste naturally spotted things the Hungarian plod had missed, but there is one mystery I can’t work out. How can he afford to fly around Europe solving crimes when, like Gillian Anderson now she’s stopped wearing a bra, he has no visible means of support? Too many great shows were blanked. Where were After Life, Kate & Koji, and Des? Or strong imports, like retro-treat Cobra Kai and Cate Blanchett’s Mrs America? Blanchett was stunning. Casualty won, suggesting there’s a stealth award for just hanging in there. Diversity’s victory was, ahem, assisted by keeping heavyweight rival contenders out of the running. Worst TV cooking show dishes: Nigella’s banana skin curry, and her mashed-up fish fingers served in gunge. In the book and the films, they’re are all blond and blue-eyed. The sinister Village Of The Damned movie poster creeped me out as a kid. Think the Hitler Youth with super-powers or the Johnson clan on holiday.

An obscure poetry show was deemed best entertainment. Romesh won best entertainment performer for sitting in his garage and grumbling... Bradley Walsh mouthed “It’s a joke” to the camera in jest. But he was right. Shamefully there are still ex-servicemen sleeping rough on British streets. And men like them in Ukraine right now making similar sacrifices. True, T’s nightmare mum soaking her chihuahua in a bubble bath (not a euphemism) didn’t ring any bells but I’m not sure that’s enough to keep us watching. Shiv issued a public statement – “a greeting card from hell” – revealing Kendall’s struggles with drugs, and “problematic relationships with women”. The exception is Jimmy McGovern’s brutally gripping Time, a BBC drama that hits like a knee in the nuts.

Garry Bushell Garry Bushell

Top Actor: David Tennant, Des. Top Actress: Cate Blanchett, Mrs America. Runner-up: Dolly Wells, Dracula.

HOW much did C4 bung Kathy Burke to eff and blind and state the bleedin’ obvious on Money Talks? Odds on her talk doesn’t come as cheap as it sounded. Talitha seems as guilty as hell, but then we’re meant to think that... Tracy Ifeachor sparkles as her brief, Chloe, who has more class in her little finger than her client has in her entire body. It might’ve worked better if the judges had played it straight instead of trying and failing to be funny. Interviewer James Corden made Des O’Connor seem like Paxman. Could he BE any frothier? But at least he didn’t sing. Rumours that he’d turned up in Monica’s old fat-suit seem unnecessary. Unabashed, Paige replied “the broken eagle” prompting older viewers to consult Google and discover it’s where a woman lies on her front with one leg bent and lets the bloke do all the work – sort of collapsed doggy.

It’s pretty dull, unless you get off on watching civil servant Sharon give PE teacher Hugo’s lug-hole more tongue than a giraffe porn special. RICHARD Branson’s first time in space lasted four whole minutes. Good going for a Virgin... Branson in zero gravity was something else The Simpsons predicted along with President Trump and Ebola. Expect the next series to foresee Real Marigold Does Naked Attraction, the Go Compare guy as House Of Commons Speaker and Meghan & Harry – the sex-tape. Runner-ups: SOS: Save Our Summer. The Fantastical Factory Of Curious Craft, Alan Carr’s The Price Is Right (the host wasn’t). THERE are so many prosthetics on Impeachment it’s a shame they didn’t recreate Bill Clinton’s misshaped manhood too. Between shoots, Clive Owen could have used it as a boomerang. TV questions: how do the cast of A Discovery Of Witches keep a straight face? Is there anyone alive who could take government Covid guidelines as a specialist Mastermind subject and do well?TOO Hot To Handle is Love Island with a sex ban. Vain dimwits are conned into signing up and then they get the bad news – kiss, touch or “self-gratify” and the prize pot plummets. It’s like bear-baiting for the barely dressed. LES Dawson: “I don’t have to do this for a living. I just do it for the luxuries like bread and shoes.” Jim Moir stumbled over stainless steel. Scarlett Moffett was sunk by a Nelson question – what does his statue have in his hand?

Oh no, we gasped, a kid we don’t recognise has put too much salt on a steak we can’t eat. The agony! The tension, the... hang on, what’s on Netflix? HOW does Craig Charles keep a straight face on Moneybags saying things like “Mike moves from the hole and he goes into pole”? Funny moments included Alice’s visit to the “morgue” – shouldn’t that be the mortuary? – where she’s shown the corpse of a much fatter man.

Moments after he was paired with paramedic Paige, Luca Bish asked her, “What’s your favourite sex position?” You don’t get that on Bridgerton. THE Tower was part mystery, part Moral Maze. Veteran cop Hadley faced losing his job for calling Libyan teen Farah “Little Miss Jihadi” and her nuisance dad “Bin Laden”. Naturally he denied it to his partner, young honest Lizzie. Unfortunately for him Farah had recorded it all. They axed some hopefuls for “not improving” between shows. Well, they haven’t! These puffed-up clowns are barely qualified to judge karaoke night in the Albert. Smart, idealistic Catherine finds herself lumbered with a bullying man-child who burns down the school she opens to educate la-di-da court ladies and says things like “women are for seeding, not reading”. But later, Carr crashed and burned through three lifelines on a question about the Martian atmosphere, despite correctly thinking it was largely CO2. You have to go with your gut to win big, Jimbo.